Category: Practical Matters – Living Abroad

USA Citizens Vote While Overseas!!

by midgeguerrera, posted in Politics - Quirky Aside, Practical Matters - Living Abroad

With all the lunacy of the primary elections spinning and whirling around me, I knew that Jack and I had to be able to vote in this year’s New Jersey primary election.​  Since we will be in Italy in June and the mail from the United States to Italy is notoriously slow – I didn’t want to risk a mail-in absentee ballot. What is a political junky voting citizen to do?  

My pal George, who lives in The Netherlands, said that he goes to the American Consulate. Hmmm, do I have to go Naples?  Being a politically savvy chick, I knew just who to call – the Board of Elections!   What – I’m wrong?  I have to call the County Clerk?  Done. I called the Somerset County, NJ clerk’s office and discovered that U.S. Citizens who are out of the country can vote electronically!  Who knew?!

First stop –  Web site : FVAP.gov  Federal Voting Assistance Program 
A quick trip to the web site made me realize that it was not only possible but probable that I would be voting this June from Pontelandolfo!  Go Democracy – huzaah! 

Here is how it works – 

1. You must register and request an absentee ballot in your state of legal residence. Right – you can’t vote  in Oregan and then vote absentee AGAIN from Europe. You complete what is called the federal post card application – it looks nothing like a post card.  

Hmm, I thought, filling it out online looks pretty simple. POP, up came a privacy statement – click – I accepted the privacy act statement. That means people get to see who I vote for. Who cares – ask me who I voted for and I’ll tell you. 

The form took forever because once again the big zip code data base in cyberspace would not recognize my zip code. Flagtown has had its own zip code long before Hillsborough coalesced into a quasi community with a post office and zip code. I fought the system and then hung my head and used the Hillsborough zip code.

2. Print and finish your federal post card application. Easy. 

3. Next from wherever you are mail the form set to your local election office. This part was a little Squirrley.  You can only send it back on USA sized 8 1/2 by 11 paper. Then mail it in a number 10 envelope. Now, if you’re in Europe where the hell do you easily get the paper or the envelope. The directions say that using European standard paper you need to print the document at 96% of its normal size. On the website they then give you a template to make your own envelope.  You also need to note that you cannot have scotch tape on the envelope. So I’m confused, if you’re going to download an envelope and make an envelope do you have to find a recipe for paste?

Since we are still in New Jersey we will be hand delivering our 81/2 X 11 postcard. 

My ballot will be emailed to me. I hope I can email my response back. The county clerk office said I could. Wouldn’t it be great if all of us could vote electronically. 

But if you don’t get your ballot what can you possibly do? Guess what you can go online and using the federal rights in absentee ballot you are able to vote or you can pick up a hardcopy version from your nearest US Embassy or Consulate location. I got bored reading about it and hope we don’t have to do this. Apparently there are a number of questions that you’ve got to work your way through. Ugh. 

I am confident that I will get my ballot. I will do my dad proud and vote in the Democratic primary. I will do my home country proud and vote in the general election. 

Huzaah!

In 2016 Learn to Speak Italian

by midgeguerrera, posted in Practical Matters - Living Abroad

Join Nonna’s Mulberry Tree

October 1 – 15, 2016

Love the school. Could I win the lottery and stay here?

Alghero, Sardinia

Gulp – who knew that the first Nonna’s Mulberry Tree Travel Event would have been such a success! Our 2015 journey to Alghero, Sardinia was a huge hit! We partnered with an incredible language school – Centro Meditterraneo Pintadera.

Thirteen independent travelers improved their Italian Language Skills, immersed themselves in Italian Culture, lived like a local, shopped the market and strolled Alghero’s sea wall.

It is time to register for our 2016 excursion back to this charming island. Pintadera really provides incredible “bang for the buck” – or in this case Euro. The trip is limited to 15 adventurers. Ten days of classes, cultural activities, welcoming gathering, welcoming dinner and concierge services costs €680. Registration fee is $50. Housing prices are based on your accommodations and range between €400 – €800 for the two weeks.

That means for less than €1500 you can spend two weeks in Alghero, take ten – three hour classes (lessons from 9 to 1pm with coffee break, so four hours – total 40hours of language classes in two weeks) and have a wickedly great time! For the complete packet of information – leave me a comment!

Here is what 2015 adventurer Aileen Mroz had to say:

This is the second time I have attended a 2-week class at Centro Mediterraneo Pintadera, and it was even better than the first time I went.

One of the best features is that classes are small, typically 4 to 6 people.    The teachers are personable and are from Alghero, yet their Italian is the best and of the highest level.  They ensure that each person participates fully during class, yet you don’t feel pressured.   There is a perfect blend of conversation, grammar, and reading.   The instructors adjust the topics for the classes on a dime toward whatever problem areas they notice the class is experiencing (e.g. prepositions, the subjunctive, pronouns), so that you get an extra boost of practice in those areas.   Although parts of learning a language can be very dry, there is no chance of that in Pintadera because the teachers incorporate local stories and much humor during class.    I laughed so much during class at Pintadera that my stomach would ache, and I could just feel my endorphin levels spiking!  (Check out Jack laughing while learning.)

alghero 9At midmorning every day, you go to a nearby café for a break with all the students in the school.   You get a chance to sample the wonderful espresso, have a delicious pastry, or just sip a Diet Coke while you’re chatting.   I think you learn just as much, if not more, from the breaks as from the classes. Your fellow students may be from the U.S., or Germany, or Sri Lanka, or Norway, or Switzerland; and you see them every day in class and on break, and maybe for a meal or a trip to the beach.    You get to hear, first hand, what folks from other countries think about the US, get their points of view on the international situation, listen to funny stories and interesting customs; and find out the inside political scoop in other countries.

The directors of the school, Nicola and Angela, go the extra distance to make you feel taken care of.   They arrange for your transportation to and from the airport;  to find picturesque, comfortable apartments or rooms to in which to live while you’re at the school;  to introduce students to the local cuisine and wines;  to organize side trips or outings which suit each person’s wishes—-whether it’s a hike;  a boat trip on the ocean to Neptune’s Grotto with the tang of adventure when you step across a narrow gangplank from a heaving mini-ferry into a sea cave with caverns the size of a football field; or a chug around Alghero in a little brightly colored open train and a local narrator with funny stories.

Ken Kowalski added: The consistency of the high quality teaching and the expertly organized series of lessons over the two weeks, developed my abilities to listen to, understand, and speak the Italian language well beyond what happens in once-a-week classes at home. Add to that the reinforcement of speaking Italian with classmates after school and in shops and eateries around Alghero made this a powerful learning experience.

Raymond Barbieri touched me deeply with this comment:  The experience put me back in touch with my ancestry and I appreciated my family more than ever. I realized how much Italian I knew and how much more I needed to learn, which makes me feel excited. There is so much more I can tell you but I will close by saying that I never felt more at home in a foreign place. Thank you for your experience, drive, love of our Italian history and your good nature.

2016 is your year to enhance your Italian with a trip to Centro Mediterreano Pintadera! Let me know today!

Impresari Giovani – Young Entrepreneurs

by midgeguerrera, posted in Practical Matters - Living Abroad

photo

Annarita Mancini wrote this story in English.  I Translated it into Italian.  It was an opportunity for both of us to work on our language skills.  Enjoy!

“I sogni possono diventare realtà e possono avverarsi se sei giovane nel cuore” – e ambizioso, brillante, diligente e ti dedichi 500% alla tua idea. Questa è la storia di un sogno che è diventato una realtà per due amiche che hanno trovato il sistema per creare Dottor Sfuso – un negozio a Morcone dove tutti gli alimentari sono locali, biologici e senza imballo di cartone o plastica.

“Dreams can come true and they can happen to you if you are young at heart” – and ambitious, smart, hardworking and willing to give 500% to an idea. This is a story of a fantasy that became a reality for two friends who used the system to create Dottor Sfusa a shop in Morcone (BN) where all goods are local, organic and not encumbered with cardboard or plastic packaging.

Annarita’s Story – with a little tweaking from me:

Elena (Elena Baldini) e io siamo amiche da quando eravamo piccole. Un giorno, lei mi ha parlato di questa idea che le gironzolava in testa da tanti giorni! Lei sognava di aprire un negozio di alimentari, ma con prodotti senza imballaggio . Noi abbiamo cominciato a fatasticare su quest’ idea. Per tante ore, abbiamo girato, girato, girato… “brainstorming.” Ridendo, ridendo, abbiamo pensato ai nomi divertenti che era possibile usare per il nostro negozio. OK, OK, forse quando abbiamo cominciato, non pensavamo seriamente di realizzare il nostro progetto.

Elena (Elena Baldini) and I have been friends since we were little girls. One day, she told me about the idea that had been percolating in her head for days! She was thinking about creating a shop where nothing came in a box. We started to fantasize about it. We spent may hours driving around and brainstorming about this idea. Above all laughing – laughing at the funniest names we could use for the shop. Ok, Ok, perhaps in the beginning we weren’t thinking about the serious sides of the business plan.

Sfuso

Here is the name they picked!  Sfuso means loose.  All items are without packaging and “loose”  – environmentally friendly.

Dopo avere parlato e parlato abbiamo capito che la nostra idea era brillante! Abbiamo assunto un commercialista per aituarci a capire come cominciare. POP! Il nostro sogno è andato in frantumi, quando lui ci ha detto quanti soldi avremmo dovuto avere per aprire il negozio. Siamo usciti con il cuore in pezzi. Come la fata di Cenerentola, lui ci ha chiamato: con la carrozza ci accompagnerà alla festa – SVILUPPITALIA! Avremmo ricevuto assitenza dallo stato!

The more we talked the more we realized that the idea was brilliant. We hired an accountant to help us understand how to get started. Pop! The fantasy exploded in our faces when he told us just how much money we DIDN’T have to start the business. We left broken hearted. Like Cindarella’s fairy godmother, he called with the coach that could take us to the ball – SVILUPPITALIA! It was possible to get financial assistance from the state!

There is an overview of Sviluppo on the  Italian Workforce site.

NO!  MIDGE IS A FAILURE!  SHE REFUSES TO TRANSLATE ANY MORE BECAUSE HER BRAIN IS EXPLODING.  THE STORY WILL CONTINUE ONLY IN ENGLISH.

After meeting with the SVILUPPITALIA coach we looked at each other and smiled – then cried.  There was so much work to do.  We had to write down the complete idea!  It wasn’t very easy.  They wanted us to describe and analyze every detail. We had to write all about the place where we meant to open the shop.  There was a check list –  how many places of interest, public service agencies and other shops were close by.  We hit the streets to do an inventory.

The bottom line was we had to create a workable business plan, find our vendors, create a budget that included all aspects of starting the business, research who our competition was and understand how to market!  Whew, we have always been hard workers and luckily – or unluckily – with the crisis in Italy we were both available to work on the project full time.  One of the reasons the government has this program is to help the young people of Southern Italy create their own jobs.  They also feel that the more activity there is in the south the more tourists will come.

sfusa jars

The big question was – WHY SHOULD THEY CHOOSE OUR PROJECT TO FUND!   They needed to know how we meant to develop the idea – an idea that was really different.  In a small village buying food from bins with out packages was not the  ordinary way to sell things – but we didn’t care.  We were thinking about the growing garbage piles, and unfortunately the growing prices of everything.  We wanted to save the planet and the wallet.  If people needed to discover a new way of shopping, we would help them. The planning and the application took us a year.  We waited another year and happily received the state money. Of course this money was not ours forever.  We have 5 years to give the money back.

A&E Sfusa

Happy Entrepreneurs – Annarita and Elena on Opening Day!

Finally we opened this little activity. We sell pasta, legumes, rice, flour, candies, spices – that I adore, tea, tisanes, perfumes, detergents, and other things like this.  It is the kind of shop where you can buy the kinds of things you need in the amount you need.  I think it is a great idea and who knows in a couple of years maybe we will open Doctor Sfuso all around the world.

Doctor Sfuso is a fabulous shop with great products.  We shop there often.  For Christmas you can help Santa Claus and buy neat gifts at the store that cares about the environment.

Doctor Sfuso

Via Roma 145, Morcone (BN)

I Gesti Italiani!

by midgeguerrera, posted in Practical Matters - Living Abroad

Take 12 italo-americani.  Seat them in a circle.  Bring in a teacher who really should be an actress. Make everyone’s hands leap, writhe, point, wring and finally clap.  That is exactly what Centro Mediterraneo Pintadera – the best Italian Language school I’ve found – had a group of us doing.

This past October, Nonna’s Mulberry Tree, offered its first excursion – to Alghero Sardegna to study at Pintadera.

The 2016 trip to Pintadera is October 1 – 15!  Leave a comment if you’re interested.

We studied Italian language every day for ten days and spent our afternoons doing fun stuff.  Like taking a class with Roberta on Italian hand gestures.  It was a hoot.  You really don’t want to read about it.  You want to see it.

Enjoy!

Train to Venezia

by midgeguerrera, posted in Practical Matters - Living Abroad, Travel Comments

The adventure was just starting  out and I discovered a great spot.  Our train trip to Rome on Trenitalia’s Frecciargento 9350 began in Benevento. My first stop – the ladies room. It was wonderful and I encourage all who end or begin their journeys in Benevento not to worry about using the bathroom. There were only two stalls but they were as big as horse stalls. That means you can take your suitcases in with you and not be squished. At New York’s Penn Station I shudder at how terrible it feels to have those bags pressing my knees. The other station  amenity that appealed to Jack was the bar. Due cappuccini per favore – cost 1.50 each – double what they cost in Pontelandolfo – but hey this is the city.

We decided to splurge and booked first class train tickets all the way to Venezia. Two tickets round trip cost us a total of €300. The first leg was Benevento to Roma with a quick change. The train arrived a wee bit early and we plopped ourselves in the commodious seats. It was a 4 top table just right for a game of bridge – which of course I don’t play. Oops, I’m sorry, Jack hasn’t quite plopped yet. His suitcase was too big to fit overhead and they don’t have a luggage rack at the front. Hmmm – put it on an empty seat! Good plan. (We lucked out and no one ever took that seat). The host came through with newspapers, snacks, water, sodas. Ahhhh.

The guy next to us had set up an office. Each seat has electric outlets so phone, lap tops – even wee portable printers can be set up. Commuting with style. Or is that working under pressure?

Out the windows, the hills of Sannio passed us by complete with sheep and shepherds. Jack read. I wrote. It was lovely. Than the other shoe dropped – what is that announcement about Caserta? There was a problem on the track after Caserta and we could sit there for 40 minutes. Beh! That puts a big damper in our travel plans – we have a connecting train in Rome. Our seat mate said I should talk to the Capo di Treno – who or what the hell is that? Lets go find out.

I walked through the first class cars towards the bar – how civilized – searching for Il Capo near the bar. Even though it is only 9:30 AM I am tempted to have a caffè corretto – toss that shot of grappa in that coffee please. Yes, he must be  Il Capo – I’m guessing head conductor. There, in a uniform that looked an awful lot like Captain Kagaroo’s, was the charming and robust Il Capo. He glanced at my ticket and said it would be easy to change the connection at Rome Termini – just go to the info kiosk between tracks 3 and 4. There is a train to Venezia every hour. Whoops – the train moved, I guess the wait wasn’t the predicted 40 minutes. We didn’t sit for 40 minutes, they put us on a different track. The sloooooo mo track from Campobasso to Roma. The same track the 12€ ticket from Boiano takes. The seats may be first class but we are poking along.

Looking at the bright side – it is a clear and sunny day – the wifi works! I jumped to an empty seat, set up my iPad and keyboard, put on my classy shades, watched the world go by and sighed. Oops, I sat up straight, sucked in my gut and smiled. Here comes the cute host boy again with more drinks and snacks. I’m being good and just looking not touching. AT the snacks – the snacks.

We pass Cassino. It’s laundry is fluttering from terra cotta and sun kissed yellow high rises. Smaller towns are bleeps as the train chugs on. Then countryside with plowed fields and neat small homes surrounded by goats and sheep enclosed in make shift fences. I expect to see barefooted children with their dogs standing near the tracks waving. Factories – 1950s style boxes – break up the green. I turn my head – a field of solar panels out one window and untouched hills out the other.
Staring is great fun and really relaxing until my inner “equal justice girl” roars out and and dons her cape. I realized that all of the beautiful verdant hills are unencumbered with freakin’ ugly wind mills. I’ve written about the windmill blight on the Southern Italy landscape. I just need to say it again. How come they don’t put any on the hills outside of ROME! Take a cleansing breath and get over it. Questa è italia.

That reminds me – no one ever checked our tickets. Does that mean you can scope out first class and ride for free?????

Any minute the view I find unbelievable will appear. Waiting for it – yes, yes, – I poke Jack awake – there they are – the wonderful Roman ruins.

Roma Termini is always a ZOO! Lots of folks getting off trains, getting on trains – New Yorkers, you can understand this. Le Frecce, the fast cool train, department of Trenitalia has quick fix booths between tracks 3 & 4. This is important to know. We did have to wait about 10 minutes to get our tickets to Venezia changed. Instead of being on the 11:50 that we missed by 40 minutes, we were on the 1:50.

Since we had time to kill, we looked for a restaurant with seats. Close to the tracks is an American Style joint called “Roadhouse Grill.” We knew it was American style because there was a life size cow statue by each door – like the ones that artists paint in cute American towns. I rolled my eyes and looked at Jack. “It has seats,” he said. We went in and what a pleasant surprise. Clean, well managed and if you like beef a great place. The steaks coming past us were rare and gorgeous. Jack had a cheeseburger and said it was good. I opted for Caesar Salad with grilled chicken breast. The chicken was a real breast – not pressed goop. It was again, surprisingly, good. Lunch with one beer and one bottle of mineral water cost us €31.60. Not bad for lunch in a major city.

We are finally on the way to Venezia! Train 9430 was waiting for us on track 3. Only problem was our seats weren’t together. Beh! I fixed that in a smile and a wink. Ahhhhh my own wide reclining chair with foot rests. Nice leather seats, wifi, big windows and have I mentioned foot rests?

The scenery changes. The mountains are off in the distance. This valley of small rolling hills must have caused invading armies sporting armor and spears to grunt and groan. We race through tunnels and zip by fairly modern houses painted in those terra-cotta and sunny colors. I long for purple or red or green.

We had our snack and the requisite glass of wine and acqua minerale then stared some more.

Filling my huge window are fortresses, lakes, and beautiful villas set back and surrounded by tall, skinny evergreens. Toscana I shout. Next stop Firenze. Che Bella. An Italian portrait right out my window. Know what else was beautiful? This train had a wheel chair, easily accessible, huge circular bathroom. Complete with toilet paper! Traveling with a handicapped student, I remember an Amtrack trip to Washington and it was the train trip of hell. This ain’t Amtrack.

The view keeps changing as we go. I am mesmerized by the shifting landscapes – mountains to rolling valleys to the plains of the north to the long bridge over the water to the station “Venezia Santa Lucia.”

We got off the train, dragged our bags out the front door and gasped. This is what greets the weary traveler.


PS – toilest at this train station costs €1 and are just OK.

Train Facts:

Great App for your phone – Info Treno

You can purchase Trenitalia tickets on line at www.Trenitalia.com. They have deals all the time.

Overhead space doesn’t hold big suitcases – airline carry on size works.

You may be sharing a 4 person table with strangers. There is no extra space on the floor for that giant Murano lamp.

Use the Train Number not where you are going when you are trying to find the right track. You may not know the last stop on the train and that is the town that will be posted.

Ci Vediamo.

Bank of America Fees Take A Big Bite Out of Vacations.

by midgeguerrera, posted in Practical Matters - Living Abroad

My advice – if you are going to Europe anytime soon –  don’t leave home with a Bank of America card in your wallet.

FullSizeRender

In the spirit of openness and full disclosure I must say that I own stock in Bank of America – it is in the toilette but I still own it.  That said, I do not use any Bank of America products – and based on these two harrowing tales, I’m glad I don’t.  All the Bank of America fees that I talk about – and I will really bitch about them – can be checked at https://www.bankofamerica.com/deposits/resources/personal-schedule-fees.go

Tale 1:  Maryellen Mistakingly Trusts Local Bank of America Personnel.

Before she crossed the Atlantic and started her exploration of Rome and Pontelandolfo, my cousin did everything right.  She went to her local Bank of America branch and explained she was going to Italy for two weeks.  She asked what she needed to take with her to easily access her cash.  We had talked about this and I told her to make sure she asked about all the fees her bank might charge.  After her chat, she called me all excited – Bank of America has a list of banks in Europe and with her brand new ATM card she wouldn’t get hit with the $5 transaction fee!  Weeooo.

The non-Bank of America ATM fees do not apply at some ATMs located outside the United States. Call us before you travel internationally for current information about banks participating in the program. She did.

The BoA branch staff also convinced her to get a super duper new Travel Rewards credit card.  They swore she could use it everywhere.  It had no foreign transaction fee and she could use it at an ATM machine – however it cost an arm and two legs – ATM, Over-the-Counter, Same-Day Online and Cash Equivalent Cash Advances: Either $10 or 5% of the amount of each transaction, whichever is greater.  Oh yeah – pay it back right away because the interest on a cash advance is 24.99%.  Sheeeeet mon!

OK, OK – you want me to tell her story – here it is – Maryellen promptly discovered that she could not use her ATM card at the Bancomat machine in Pontelandolfo, or the one in Morcone or the one freaking anywhere!!!!  She did have that lovely list of participating banks and none of them were within days of where we live in Italy.  So now she has no Euro and no access to her account.  H’mm, there must be another way – she’ll use her Travel Rewards Card and pay the usurious 5% and get a bunch of Euro.  What?  That card doesn’t work here either??????  We called Bank of America – frankly, I grabbed the phone and put on my advocate voice.  The officious twit said – “oh you’re not in Rome or a major city”? – excuse me, since when did banks only consider the tourist meccas and not the towns of us common folk?  She also explained that many Bancomats only worked with debit cards – not ATM cards.  What?  The less than informed or inadequately trained – I want to say to stupid to live but Jack says this is rude – so I will not say it – person in the Hillsborough Branch of Bank of America specifically signed my cousin up for an ATM card.  ERRRRRGGGGGGG.  What is the poor woman to do?  She borrowed the money from her son – see his debit card worked.  Bottom line – I hope she ditches BoA.

I know what you are thinking – “why the hell didn’t she just use her credit card?”  This is a very small town in Southern Italy – hardly anyone takes a credit card!!!!  It isn’t Princeton where a kid can flip out a debit card for a $3 coffee.  A cappuccino here costs .90 and not one of the four bars take credit/debit cards.  The only place in town that takes credit cards is the fabulous Landulphi – a great pub-restaurant.  Actually, lots of people don’t have or ever use credit cards.  It is a cash economy.  Make sure you know where you are going and if credit cards are widely accepted.

Tale 2: Alanna Gets Hit with 3%

True, Alanna’s tale is not as horrific as Maryellen’s but damn – who needs to pay 3% plus the $5 foreign ATM fee just to get Euro?  Alanna showed up at my door and asked where the Bancomat was.  Just for the hell of it I asked her who her bank was – when she said the evil Bank of America I fainted.  She knew what it would cost her for money – that was a good thing. The bad thing was she didn’t switch banks before she left. I told her to call and see if she could get the fee waived – she just spent two weeks working on a house through Habitat for Humanity in Portugal and Bank of America ought to commend her for that. We’ll see if that pitch works – if not my Paypal account will be richer and I’ll gather Euro for her.

I just checked my TD Bank statement – $3 to use a foreign ATM machine.  There is no percentage on top and no Euro conversion fee.  Was it always smooth sailing?  No, I always call and say “this is where I’ll be for the next 6 months.”  Once, the computer ate the advisory or the person entering the information fell asleep at the keyboard.  I’ve just called from where-ever I was and got instant access.

The Debit card that I cannot get to work anywhere in Italy is the one I have attached to my brokerage account at RBCDainRoucher.  I tried at a variety of Bancomats last year, called RBC and just plain gave up.

The bottom line?  Check, double check and re-check the fees and usability of your debit card.  Also really take a peek at your credit cards – make sure they do not charge a foreign transaction fee.  I use Capital One because they do not and I get travel miles.  We never used our American Express Card because they did – as of this summer they are changing their policy.

Also understand the economic reality of where you are going.  We hate tourist crammed places and know that small villages have been bartering and using cash for ages – credit cards?  Leave home without them.

Be prepared and have a great trip.

Ci Vediamo!

Backpack Rant!!!

by midgeguerrera, posted in Practical Matters - Living Abroad

 

Back you soul sucking animal!

Back – no, no, don’t – not another fall.  

Splat – ouch damn it.

Why can’t you leave me alone?  What the heck have I done to you?

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Backpacks –  brrrrrr.  The word gives me chills.  Backpacks hate me.  Collectively they have decided to bite me, push me, smack me, trip me and generally aggravate the hell out of me.  I live in Italy 6 months a year and the backpack gang has made life hell.  Unadulterated HELL!

The first time one the X%#&%@%$% attacked me was about ten years ago.  The sun was shining, my husband Jack and I were exploring Lago Como and decided to have a cappuccino.

What?  Of  course it was before 10:00 AM.  What do you think we are ugly Americans?

Speaking of ugly —– A group of obviously New York region tourists – I’m from the New York Region so I can talk nasty but watch it if you’re not from the USA – you can’t.  Anyway, these folks  were sitting around a table in front of a small  bar on a smaller piazza.  Clad in shorts, sneakers and baseball caps —  Yoo hoo – except for a nine year old have you ever seen an Italian dressed that way?  Mai!  Never!

Anyway, back to the backpacks.   Their backpacks – unbeknownst to me – were casually sitting behind their chairs, leering out of their little grommet eyes and gurrrrring.

While concentrating on carrying a cappuccino from inside the bar to a table, a backpack lunged at me.  I swear the thing lashed out and bit my ankle – well maybe it was the carabiner pin thingy  that nabbed me.  Rats that hurt – do I see blood.  No, but I do see the arrogant nasal sounding cretins who own the backpacks pulling bottled water and snacks out of the vile things to eat at the bar’s table.  PEOPLE YOU WOULDN’T EVEN THINK OF BRINGING YOUR OWN FOOD TO DISGUSTING MC DONALD’S!  Bars in Italy – as we did in Asbury Park, NJ – pay a fee to the town to be able to put tables outside.  Buy Something!

That did it – it wasn’t my fault. It was them  – really – I just had to say “Gee, I’m so sorry the market treated you guys so badly and now you’re homeless – living out of your backpacks. So sad.”

Then I smiled, sat at a table and sipped my paid for cappuccino. The backpacks growled.  Jack put his head on the table and sighed.  They weren’t kids they were folks like me – well over 50.

It was after my smart ass comment that the backpacks of the world started tormenting me.  They haunted me, followed me, tripped me and – have I mentioned –  freakin’ annoyed me.

There I was, riding the Metropolitana in Milan minding my own business when bang, smash ouch – what the X%$# – hit me in the back. I quickly turned to see a well dressed white haired woman porting a giant back back chatting with a pal – also bent over under the weight of a snarling tapestry covered evil beast.  Forgetting she had a hump on her back the idiot had swung around to chat knocking the wind out of me. “Excuse me – do you know you’re carrying a back cracking weapon on your back?”  She gave me one of those southern drawls and ignored me.

It was a lovely day in Siena – a few days before the Palio.  Jack and I were eating lunch at a lovely restaurant when a large family appeared – each and everyone had a backpack.  Maybe they were gypsies?  Nah! Starting with – DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH? – and ending with sending their kids to another restaurant to buy gelato to eat at this restaurant’s table – I realized they were as inconsiderate as one could be.  Oh the backpacks – tossed on the ground so that every waiter had to leap over them to carry food to other tables.  Jack stared at me and then put his nails in my leg – he knew I was about to explode.  What could I say that would have an impact.  Nothing.  When you are an ugly traveller you are an ugly traveller.

Instead, I called over the headwaiter and apologized on behalf of my country, explaining that we were not all “Cafone, maleducato, volgare” – mannerless creeps.   Oh, yeah even though in Italy one rarely tips – I did mention to this family that they should tip heavily because that was de riguer during Palio season in Siena.  Ooops a wee and I hope cost ’em big fib.

Backpack Montage

Bellagio photos shot within a 5 minute period.

Bella Bellagio is besieged by tourists of all nationalities but it seems only the ones that speak English and maybe German carry backpacks.  Gaggles of them.  The charming village has narrow streets that wind up hill – both sides with shops designed to tempt the tourist.  That means the tourists are quickly stopping, turning to face the windows  and smacking me in the face.  Their backpacks that is smacked me in the face, head, shoulder etc.  I’m thinking you came to town on a tourist bus – are you carrying the crown jewels? Leave your stuff on the bus.

I asked a very civilized and loving pal of mine who carries a backpack one question – Why?  For my water in case I get thirsty – every little village in Italy has a bar and a fountain –  water is accessible.  For my binoculars when I’m birding – I’m talking in Manhattan – not the woods.  Oh, well they stay in my backpack.  Then there is a sweater if I get cold, books if I get bored and the list went on.

I thought about the list and had only one comment –

When you are in Europe do you want to explore a new culture, resonate with the customs or wear a sign that says I’m An American – Bite Me?

Beware.  I am from New Jersey and I might bite you before your backpack bites me!

Ikea Salerno 

by midgeguerrera, posted in Practical Matters - Living Abroad

 Somethings are the same no matter where in the world you are! Our little adventure to IKEA, took us to IKEA in Baronissi,  provincia di Salerno. We could have been at IKEA Newark, IKEA Toronto, IKEA wherever you live!  I swear the floor plan was the same as the IKEA the Jack and I have often visited outside of Newark airport.

I bet IKEA even pays states and provinces to build special exits off major highways so that it’s really easy to find them. This IKEA has its own little loop off of the autostrada, incredible.


Of course we had to try the restaurant café. It looked like all the other restaurants. The only difference might have been the bar – complete with espresso machine and prosciutto panini.  Taste testing,  I discovered that the Swedish meatballs at IKEA Baronissi  have the same effect on my digestive track as they do when I eat them in Newark.

Now that we sold our house in New Jersey, we are really nesting in Pontelandolfo. Today’s journey bought us new furniture for the living room, new furniture for my office and a bunch of other stuff. Once you get into that market area the shopping frenzy just kicks in.

Ciao for now. The car is loaded and we are trying to figure out how to get home without the desk top smacking our heads.