Boom, Bang, Ouch and GRAZIE A TUTTI

Have you missed me? Sorry, I’ve been so silent, but life in New Jersey had some ups and downs. Speaking of ups and downs. Boom, bang – no not thank you mam – but my blood all over the nice marble floor of Aeroporto Fiumicino. Caspita! I’ve always had stars in my eyes but this wasn’t my favorite way to find new ones.

I am now – thanks to family, friends and the medical system – fine. Swollen knees, cracked teeth, ditzy witzy head and a hole in my lower lip ain’t gonna keep me down. Yes, I did all the right things – went to doctors, dentists, got X-rays and an MRI. (Panoramic X-Ray of my teeth – €40. MRI of my fabulous head – €100.) That’s the boring part of the tale. This is actually one of those “feel good” stories.

BACKSTORY –

Why were my eyeglasses on the floor over there? Hmm? Opening my eyes, the first thing I saw were my eyeglasses floating above my ear. My ears were very active –

Signora, mi senti? Ma’am can you hear me? Yes I could hear her – what is in my mouth? Why is my nose smelling the floor?

Tutto OK? Was I OK? Bo? I haven’t an idea – the floor looks good – nice marbling. I was asked that by about six different people. Was I finally an extra in the Law and Order franchise?? Damn, what fun. Do I get the SAG day rate??

Apparently, after we got off the plane, which had been held for about 3 hours on the tarmac in Newark, NJ, got Jack a wheel chair ( his aching back won’t tolerate super long walks), I fainted.

Sta sanguinando! She’s bleeding! Whose bleeding? Shit is that wet stuff under my mouth my blood? Shit, it is my blood. People, speaking a variety of languages, were tossing blood soaking up things at me and putting them on my lower lip and chin. No one was afraid to touch the bloody lady sprawled on the floor.

Two woman helped me sit up. Whoa – sitting on the floor was a nice change from eating the floor but I wasn’t going anywhere else. Weee, the merry go round is fun! We’re my underpants clean and not ancient?

Chiamare i pronto scorso! Someone called the EMTs and suddenly I was in a chair being prodded and poked.

There had been a female vigile near by who not only had seen everything, but with the incredible woman pushing Jack’s wheelchair got me to sit on the floor and carried all pazillion pounds of me to a nearby chair. How did the chair got there? She explained to the head EMT (doctor) that I was walking perfectly well and then suddenly like a waterfall slowly wafted to the floor smacking my face/head. Wafted to the floor – was that a Graham dance move or was I once again channeling Ruth St. Denis?

Good goddess, why is Midge telling us all this horrific tale? Because “she” – me – I was treated like visiting royalty. Every staff person who interacted with me was genuinely concerned, courteous and terrific. OK, OK, I can hear you cynics thinking – they just worry about lawsuits. In Italy a lawsuit would take 100 years.

I am telling this tale because I want to publicly thank the woman pushing Jack who then called for a wheel chair for me and organized our getting through passport control, getting our luggage and even asking a pal at lost luggage to leave her spot and find Jack’s lost bag. Damn, she was great, as was the other woman who was stuck pushing me and dragging my carryon.

The vigile must have called the accident in and two oh so handsome men in superior uniforms arrived to check our passports and calmed me down in English. Actually, they both had luminous dark eyes and maybe that’s what calmed me down.

The EMT staff was there quickly and acted professionally. As a woman was taking my blood pressure and oxygen levels another was looking in my eyes. Everything they checked was perfect – even my sugar levels. They wanted to transport me to the hospital in Rome, I wanted to go home. After signing a release that I was refusing the hospital, I was not allowed to stand and transferred to the wheelchair. Grazie Mille a tutti.

I want to thank Giuseppe who was our ride home from the airport. He literally waited hours for us and didn’t laugh at my bloody swollen face once – well maybe once. He was a gem.

Once I landed on the couch in our house, I received incredible support. Thank you Annarita for all you do. Thank you Mariann and Jeff for making sure I wasn’t comatose and fed. Thank you Carmella and Giusy for making sure I had help, appointments for X-rays and doctor visits. Thank you Rossella for keeping me sane. Thank you Zia Vittoria for getting edibles in my empty refrigerator. Thank you to the men in my life Jack, Nicola and Mario.

Thank you all.

Stay tuned for more about life in a small Southern Italian village.

Ci vediamo.